Friday, July 01, 2005

Wings of a Fallen Angel

Fallen angels. Who has never heard of their infamy throughout the earth? For it was told and told, passed down through generations, that in the beginning of time, Lucificer led a revolt against Heaven and God. And for that unsuccessful rebellion, they were cast down from the Light above into the darkness below, destinied to burn in Hell. Though the fallen angels believed that they had their free will and acted out of their choosing, all their individual actions were at God's behest.

That is what I am now.

Not unlike a fallen angel. Perhaps I am exaggerating things a trifle, but well, I do have a poetic license to do so, ain't it? I believed I was in heaven, even if only for a while. Such bliss and happiness is not to be found elsewhere. However, I too, was cast down. Of course, I didn't lead a revolt against Heaven. Hmmm, it seems that I am treading a fine line between blasphemy and poetic licensing here.

A long hard fall from the so called paradise above. Into the bowels of the earth. Am I in hell? I do not know, for there is nothing but darkness around me. I can neither see nor hear, nor feel anything. It is as though I am in a void, trapped in the space of nothingness. Is this a transition?

A myriad of thoughts flow through me, an empty vessel floating in nothingness.

Lessons. However cliched it may sound, rings too true in my ears. However hard I try to drown those voices out, it seems that I am still able to hear them.

The higher you soar, the harder the fall.

How true.

The wounds have yet healed.

On the outside, everything seems fine. Inside, dealing with the pain is still a problem.

Dam it up?

No, let it all out. It would feel better.

Ah, the pain, it's already gone.....Has it?

...

All that is left is a dull throbbing.

At least...I know my heart is still there.

Thus, I would then learn from this lesson, remould myself, strengthen my wings, spread them wide again, and soar into the skies once more.

Back to heaven.

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