Saturday, October 29, 2005

What I Saw

Along the path I see
A petal drops
From a guilty rose
The threads of
Time
Snaps and breaks
As it floats
Down
Into the black cesspool
Swirling
Juxtaposing against
The blackness
A spot of
Red
Or is it white?
Remembrance fails
As it vanishes
Into the void
Just a fragment
Of all in
Eternity


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Another 55er...

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3 Comments:

At 7:51 pm, Blogger . : A : . said...

Very nice. I can see the improvement here from the previous one.

Added this too.

 
At 11:55 am, Anonymous Abhi abhi said...

Loved the imagery created in this. Very striking. The opening three lines are indeed very powerful. Almost seem to be seeking an exploration of the rose's guilt and its relationship with the petal. Perhaps you can spin another one using those first three lines?

 
At 12:45 am, Blogger Aristocrat said...

Thank you for your lovely comments. Hah, now you just have to throw that challenge at me, don't you?

I'll take it up :) And see how it goes...

 

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