The Case of the Dead Lips and Eyes

Twas a sultry afternoon if there ever was one. And here I am, trapped in the confines of my dungeon, self-imposed confinement for the next few weeks. But I ramble on. For the purpose of this letter is not to tell you about my confinement, but rather, a humbling experience that I had gone through yesterday night.

I was on the journey back to my town, and it was quite near the witching hour. However, instead of the most horrifying spectres or spooks that I could see, I witnessed an even more hair-raising event.

Sitting directly opposite me in the rumbling train was this guy, aged middle twenties, dressed in blue and purportedly of Indian roots I believe. If not, it must then be a mix of Indian blood and something else. (Disclaimer: I must declare that I do not have anything against them, for God teaches us to love our brothers, and I am trying to do just that)

He was the guy in the middle. Where else fools? The other mortals in the picture are both ladies. So this accused was guilty of staring at the lady on his right falling asleep. He was so caught up with her that he stared for a few minutes. And that, made my hair stood. Creepy perverted guy.

To exacerbate things, after he had his fill of staring at the lady, his brain sent a sublimal message to his finger.

Brain: Eh, the nose is itchy dei.
Finger: Huh? (Slow reaction)
Brain: Butok la, nose itchy. You go scratch!
Finger: Orh, aiya say mah. How I know...
(and Finger proceeds to do the dirty work)

And so, I was witness to again the second catalysmic disaster of the day, him digging his left and right nostrils with apparent relish. Like a Singaporean chancing upon a free buffet of sumptuous seafood and precious crustaceans. Disgusting mortals.

However, that was not about all. I happened to eavesdropped on the sublimal conversation again, and it went like this:

Brain: Eh dei, now Lips itchy ah. Can go scratch?
Same finger: Yes boss. Right away.
(and the same accused finger proceeds to scratch said Lips)

I was now ultimately disgusted by this act of selfish, inconsiderate behaviour. Moreover in a public domain. The same finger, after committing a dirty heinous act, proceeded with gusto to go on and scratch the Lips! Someone cry murder! The Lips is being slaughtered! Not that I really care. But apparently, there was collateral damage suffered throughout the whole crime scene. You can't bomb a building without some decent civilian casualties right? After a certain body count, I am sure my Eyes are among them. And some small part of my celebral organ.

Please my dear reader, please don't ever do such an inconsiderate act in public ever. Even if you have failed in killing yourself, you would have probably murder just about everyone within a ten feet radius. Ten smelly feet.

Your servant
Aristocrat
or is it Rafael??