Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Rebuttal Senryu

Short and sweet it will
Be my rebuttal to thee
Concern yourself not

Insinuating
Something against yours truly
Groundless claims it be

You insinuate
I did multiple voting
But there wasn’t any

To put it simply
I was locked out of voting
By some software glitch

Neither did I camp
With a cuppa by my comp
Aka GE*-style

I don’t have knowledge
Of what my dear readers did
So how do I judge

One did complain to
Mandy Zhang or Jackson Tan
In their Arts Club blog

But until today
I have yet to hear from them
A bottomless well

NUS** systems are hell
Unless it’s school fees they want
Damn fast and on time

This I bet you know
Through CORS and I-V-L-E
Wouldn’t you say so

What is fair I say
Did your readers do it too?
It’s subjective isn’t it?

Therefore let me say
Let’s just have fun and enjoy
Ourselves in this fest

No point in fretting
Making everything in NUS
Become a rat race

*GE = Incoming General Elections
**NUS = read NOOSE (one syllable)

12 Comments:

At 8:08 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What matters most is not the wonderous blog one hath,
Nor the votes one amassed.
For a blog is a creation, a reflection of the Self.

 
At 10:54 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

these aren't haikus! my impression of haikus are pleasant, light, soothing and mostly about nature. although they contain 3 lines, they allow room for plenty of psychological interaction.

yet apparently these are continuous verses linked to some political stuff in some voting competition. quite disappointing :(

i noe rules can be bent for creativity, but in this case i really dun think these should be considered as haikus.

(just a polite comment from someone who likes reading more traditional haikus)

 
At 10:55 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

malice dun mix well with haikus imho...

 
At 12:36 am, Blogger tussand said...

Melancholic- Wondrously put. One can't say it better. More poetry from you please.

yk - Hi there. Anyway, this was just a tongue-in-cheek response to Wanting's comment. Nothing malicious about it, you can re-read the last stanza. I wouldn't have end it like that if I wanted to be malicious. And there are better ways to express malice than tainting Poetry with it.

Regarding the political stuff, isn't poetry all about the reflection of what is going on in the poet's mind? Another secondary function is also to serve as a commentary on the poet's surroundings or his contemporary society. If you think that poems cannot be political in nature, wait until you read our local poets.

Now you are under the opinion that a haiku should be self-reflexive and concentrate on the theme of Nature. Which I don't disagree as that's the very definition of it. But if a haiku comes to you carrying a political theme, what then do you make of it?

Obviously, isn't there something wrong? The content of the haiku therefore serves to undermine the serenity of the haiku's structure. In this way, it is a reflection on how the integrity of this competition's original purpose has been undermined. Though I agree with what Keats say about "Art for art's sake", sometimes one can't help but side with Wordsworth too in doing a commentary that reflects the society, albeit a microscopic one in this case.

I am sorry that you had to feel this way and apologies for the lengthy comments. Thank youfor dropping by and also for your comments.

Postscipt: I do have a few haikus in hand but it would probably make the reader all aghast. Hence it is better still to keep them close to the heart. :)

 
At 12:56 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi,

Well, I've seen worse.

[1]Haikus that are two liners (usually its 3 lines)

[2]the poet attempts (sometimes in vain) to make the last words rhyme. It's not *compulsory* to ensure the last words rhyme...if it can't rhyme, then don't force it.

I must make clear this is *not* aimed at aristocrat though, just came across another persons blog and felt utterly disgusted at the his style of writing.

 
At 1:07 am, Blogger tussand said...

There is no cause for worry or apology, melancholic. All criticism are welcome at this tomes of mine and no visitor will be denied his or her fair share of taking a potshot at me.

One has seen two-liners as well albeit not like what you have experienced. You can try Ezra Pound's In A Station of The Metro. I read it 5 years ago or thereabouts I believe and up to this day, I can still recall the very words of it.

And I do agree with you on the rhyme of a poem. Sometimes it may make things seem too forced.

Thanks for your comments melancholic but where are your tomes that one expects from you?

 
At 1:07 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thought it would be better to split this to 2 posts. Sorry, aristocrat for polluting your heavenly abode with my unnecessary filth.

thanks for the compliment. *sigh* guess its time for me to retreat back and fade into the oblivion of nameless faces that prowl around...work beckons...panic buttons pressed...alarm bells start ringing.

to quote from Tolkien, from LOTR
[Begin Quote]
From the ashes a fire shall be woken
A light from the shadows shall spring
Renewed shall be blade that was broken
The crownless again shall be king
[End Quote]

ok, back to fyping

 
At 1:18 am, Blogger tussand said...

My dear friend, you do underestimate yourself. Unnecessary filth is not a phrase that I would care to heap upon you. And heavenly abode do sound blasphemous lol. Abode it is. Heavenly it is not.

We all have our work that stands outside this circle of life. Our own dragons that we need to fight every time we step out of the castle. But fear not, this castle is always waiting for you here.

Postscript: On hindsight, I do think you are more secretive than me. One does not even have a link to follow you up with, except perhaps you are a person with Starhub Maxonline hahaha.

 
At 1:17 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have been snooping in on me?? *wags finger* haha...try finding this one :p

More secretive? I guess not. You might be mistaken though...for all you may know, we might have weaved passed each other along corridors, sat on the same bus...all without knowing it. If you look hard enough and maybe posses unagi (not salmon skin roll!)...it might be easier though.

Tomes? You have my assurance that once these tomes are resurrected, I shall send a winged dove bearing the message. Estimated time of completion: AUG 2006

Blessed Be.

P/S: I leave my email address as a link. Not sure if you can access it.

PP/S: Burning mid-night oil is pollutive. And physically plus mentally draining. Advanced apologies if I sound dis-connected and illogical.

 
At 1:29 pm, Blogger tussand said...

Not snooping, merely checking up on the sentinels of my tomes as I do daily.

Now, I have no idea what "posses unagi" means? Your words are going beyond my understanding now haha.

Aug 06 is a long time in coming...your workers must be slacking off their jobs :p

Postscript: No I do not see any email address.

PPostscript: Of course it's draining. It's not called "burning midnight oil" for nothing. They might as well call it burning perfumed oils or aromatherapy for that matter. :P Been there as well. Take care my friend.

 
At 1:43 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

nicely done senryu. i would like to link you to 3 of my sites:

catnapping

hillybilly haiku

(and the odd neighbor, which you just posted to.)

if you don't want your link on any of these sites, let me know, okay?..

thanks.

 
At 1:49 pm, Blogger tussand said...

Thank you for that kind compliment. I think it was a bit on the vulgar side though ha. No problem for those links, I'll return the favour as well :)

 

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